Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1998 01:18:29 -0400 (EDT) From: "Michelle :)" <mvincent@DREW.EDU> Subject: Through the Eyes of a Child -- Rated G Sender: owner-tales@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu To: Tales list <tales@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu> Cc: Larie Stoley <stoleyl@cadvision.com>, Aqua Valley Farm <cows@midwest.net>,  PaxtnKrieg@aol.com, sqfanfic@onelist.com Reply-to: tales@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu
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Hey everyone!

Okay, so I know this is the first story I've posted in a *long* while (& also the first one to the onelist folks!), but I've been incredibly busy (not to mention away for the entire summer!) It feels like an eternity

since I've last posted. I know it's been a while since my last Ben & Katie story, but this is yet another one of them.

I guess I could say that it's rated G, if only because it's just a sweet little thing that I wrote in a few minutes. (I think that might kinda show in the story, though) It takes place somewhere after the episode "Brothers & Sisters", but not very long after since the kids are still on-board.

The usual kinds of disclaimers apply -- NO ONE in this thing is mine! Not even the lyrics. Those belong to Jars of Clay, off of their self-titled album. (The song is called "Sinking", btw) The people all belong to, um, Amblin, I think...and whoever else has got the rights to sQ. (It's been so long since I've done this!!)

This one's dedicated to Larie & Dottie, just because :) And many thanks to Missy, who read this over for me ages ago! I just can't believe it took me this long to finish it!

Okay, I'm gonna cut to the story before this gets longer than the story itself! Oh, and before I forget, the ever-present plea for feedback is also there. {mvincent@drew.edu} Thanks!

~~~~~~~~
"Through the Eyes of a Child"
by Michelle Vincenti

	Ben grinned as he entered the moon pool and saw Katie with Hope and Cleo. "So, Katie, having fun?" he asked nonchalantly as he sat on the edge of the pool.
	"Ben, what do you want?" Katie replied exasperatedly. "Did you come to make more crude jokes?"
	"No, I didn't come to make jokes. I, um, wanted to tell you that Zach was looking for the girls. Some sort of 'family discussion' he wanted to have now that they're all together." Ben answered uncomfortably as Katie looked at him strangely. "Anyway, I was supposed to deliver that message to you, so, um, I'll see you later." He quickly left, leaving behind a bewildered couple of girls with his ex-wife.
	"Do you love him?" Cleo asked, glancing back and forth from the empty hatchway to Katie.
	"What?" Katie said absently, stroking the little girl's hair.
	"Do you love him?" she repeated.
	"I did, once. We were married, but that didn't work." Katie continued to look out the hatchway where Ben had left.
	"I think you still love him," Hope whispered.
	"No. No, I don't," Katie vehemently denied.
	"Something tells me you still do," Cleo said to her, picking the child up in her arms. "Maybe you'd better figure it out before it's too late." She smiled at Katie reassuringly. "Well, we'd better see what Zach wants."
	"Okay, have fun." Katie replied, ruffling the little girl's hair.
	"Think about it. You might never get another chance." Cleo said ominously and left.

"But you see through my forever lies
And you are not believing."

	Katie turned to stare into the moonpool. Darwin surfaced and splashed her. "Katie play?"
	"I'm not really in the mood right now, Darwin." Katie sighed and leaned against the side.
	"Katie sad?" Darwin seemed to have an unusually accurate insight into the feelings of almost everyone on the boat.

	"Not really sad, Darwin. More like very confused."
	"Why?"
	"Because Cleo said something that made me think about my relationship with Lieutenant Krieg." She looked at Darwin sadly. "I'm not quite sure how I feel about him."
	"Ben loves Katie," Darwin said simply.
	"What?" Katie looked at the cetacean, astounded. "How do you know this?"
	"Ben tells Darwin. Talks to Darwin all the time." He gave Katie something akin to a dolphin smile. "Ben misses Katie."
	"Are you sure, Darwin?"
	"Yes. Ben tells Darwin many times. Talks about Katie always." Darwin looked at Katie for a second before swimming away.
	Katie leaned heavily against the side of the moon pool and slid down until she was sitting on the ground. She began rubbing her temples.
"How...why..." she whispered. Dropping her head into her hands, she sighed deeply and tried to make sense of it all.
	'Where is all of this coming from?' she thought to herself. 'Why am I suddenly questioning my feelings for him?' She shook her head in disgust. 'Why do I always let him get to me like this?'

"You see that I can play a pretty convincing role...
You can't hear what I'm not saying
And I can hold out long enough
Treading water I keep from sinking
I'm not one for reaching."

	'I can't deal with it now. I can't discuss it with anyone else, that's for sure. Ben was always the one I was closest to. I may be close to Jonathan, but he's slightly biased -- he can't stand Ben. He'd love to find an opportunity to kick Ben off of _seaQuest_. Kristin's great, but I can't talk to her about this -- yet another person against Ben. Now that I think about it, I'd _never_ get an objective opinion around here. With the exception of Lucas, who looks up to him like an older brother, everyone on board has some sort of problem or another with Ben.'
	Katie groaned quietly when she realized what she was doing. 'I'm third in command on the UEO flagship, a lieutenant commander, no less, and I'm sitting alone by the moon pool, miserable about my ex-husband. Great, Katie,' she chided herself, 'just render yourself incapable of making rational decisions because you're too busy mooning over Ben Krieg. That's a great way to show your captain that you can be professional -- it's not like he's forgotten the Arizona Memorial remark this early into the tour.
Damn it, woman. Pull yourself together already!'
	Katie got up and started pacing. After several minutes, she stopped and stared into the moonpool again, leaning her hands against the edge. Darwin returned a second time and sprayed Katie. "Katie still not happy? Katie not smiling."
	"How can you always be so perceptive, Darwin?" Katie sighed deeply and patted his melon.
	"Katie friend. Ben friend. Darwin wants to help." Even Darwin's translated voice sounded hopeful.
	"I know, Darwin. But this isn't really anything you could help with," she ruefully answered, still stroking Darwin's sleek skin.
	"Why?"
	It was a simple, innocent question, but Katie didn't quite know how to answer it. "Well, um, Darwin, it has to do with my feelings for Ben."
	"Darwin wants to help."
	"I'd appreciate it, Darwin, but I'm not even sure I can help

myself."
	"Katie loves Ben?"
	Katie grimaced slightly. "That's my problem. I don't know. I mean, we were married and _he_'s the one who left..." She sighed deeply, not wanting to continue with her thought. "I'll see you later, Darwin." Smiling ruefully at the dolphin, she left, not noticing the person who stepped out of the shadows, smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
copyright 1998 by Michelle Vincenti

Feedback...please?! My muses are dying over here...they're refusing to finish CT II without some sort of payment!

--
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		:) 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, 11-13 :)
		~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
	"Life may hurt...but it goes on." - "A Life So Changed" (Jeane Noriega)
	"Confess the Lord and the truth shall set you free." - "Trinity" (Jennifer Knapp)
	"I don't fear death. It smells good." - James Winans (the red-headed white boy)
		~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pandora's Realm: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Lair/4867 Muses' Corner: http://daniel.drew.edu/~mvincent/poetry/pindex.html