Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1998 10:28:02 -0500 (EST) From: "Vincenti, Michelle" Subject: Now and Forever -- story format Sender: owner-tales@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu To: tales Cc: Katerina Reply-to: tales@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu Okay, since I'm still working on new stuff, I figured I'd send this all to you guys. :) And I'm sending it to ya before it's up on my page :) Anyway, I first wrote this story last year after a particularly difficult breakup. (Of all things to start me off on writing...) But I originally wrote this in script format, so now I've decided to write it in story format. If you want to read the script format version, it's on my page at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Lair/4867/forever.html All the legal stuff: None of these characters belong to me -- except Megan. She's mine. Otherwise, Lucas, Migs, Brody, Tim & everyone else belong to the creators of sQ, Amblin Entertainment, etc. And of course, the wonderful actors that gave them life on tv :) (IMO) Dedication: To everyone who's ever gone through a really rough breakup. You may feel like it's the roughest thing in the world and that you'd want to just give up on life altogether, but the best thing is to try & find the sunshine in the clouds. :) (One of the few bits of wisdom I actually gained from life... ) Feedback appreciated...of course! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Now and Forever" by Michelle Vincenti script format: March 9, 1997 novelization: March 4, 1998 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lucas Wolenczak sat in his quarters, trying to figure out what he should do next. He'd just lost the love of his life and felt as if his heart had been torn from his chest and thrown to the wolves. He and Megan had been so close and she meant so much to him that he didn't know if he could go on without her. He examined his delicate wrists, imagining how nice it would feel to just be able to put himself out of all the pain and misery he was in. A minute later, there was a knock on the door. Still looking down, Lucas answered dully, "Come in." Chief Petty Officer Miguel Ortiz stuck his head in the door and looked at Lucas sympathetically. "Hey, Lucas. You okay?" Ortiz already knew what Lucas' answer would be, but still hoped for the best. Lucas answered, rather annoyed, "Yeah. I'm fine." He looked up at Ortiz as he entered, shutting the hatch behind him quietly. Ortiz could see the pain in the boy's eyes as he sat down on the bunk. "Lucas, you're not fine. You've holed yourself in here for three days and haven't eaten a thing - even when we bring you the food." He sighed deeply before continuing. "Look, sitting in your quarters and brooding isn't going to do a thing for you. It's only going to make things worse and I don't think that putting yourself through all this misery is really worth it." Lucas stood up, and began shouting at him angrily. "Not worth it? How the hell can you say that? Megan meant *everything* to me! She was everything I'd been searching for in my life. I would have died for her if she had asked!" He collapsed on the bed sadly, on the verge of tears. "I thought we had such a wonderful relationship. I guess I was wrong." "Lucas," Ortiz started gently, "you can't beat yourself up over this. Relationships fall apart all the time and there's really nothing you can do about it." Lucas looked at his friend helplessly. "How can you explain her feeling trapped? Is there any way to explain that? Is there any way to explain her feeling that way when all I tried to do was love her? I trusted her with my heart and all she did was turn around and break it into pieces." Ortiz put a reassuring hand on Lucas' shoulder. "I know. But by shutting yourself away in here, you're not doing yourself any good." He brightened up and said, "C'mon. Brody, O'Neill and I have got some shore leave today. We'll go out and do something fun." Lucas looked over into Darwin's swim tube and just stared. "No thanks, Miguel," he said quietly. Ortiz's expression became pained as he searched for a way to reassure his friend, but realized that no matter what he tried to say, nothing would get through to him at the moment. He took a deep breath and slowly left, shutting the hatch behind him quietly. Lucas continued to stare into the swim tube, a single tear sliding down his cheek. *********** Out in the hallway, Lieutenant James Brody was waiting for Ortiz, a concerned look on his face. "Well? Is he coming?" When Ortiz shook his head, frowning, Brody groaned. "Oh, man," he said, running his hands through his hair. "We've gotta do something for the kid. Kicking Tony out was definitely not a good thing for him. He's gonna destroy himself if he stays in there alone." "Yeah, I know. I mean, I tried to convince him to come on shore leave with us, but he refused." Ortiz shook his head sadly. "I don't know what else to do." "If he stays in his quarters by himself, he's gonna end up trying to commit suicide or something. We can't just stand by and let this happen." Brody looked towards Lucas' shut door and set his jaw, speaking firmly. "That's it. I'm going to have a talk with him." Ortiz also looked toward the door, his expression full of worry. "Are you sure that's a good idea? He kinda snapped at me when I asked him how he was doing." "I have to do something. I can't just stand around and let him do what he's doing." Brody turned towards the hatch and put his hand on the handle. He glanced back at Ortiz before he opened the door. "I've gotta do it, for Lucas' sake." Ortiz nodded reassuringly as Brody went in. Lieutenant (jg) Timothy O'Neill approached then, also looking concerned. "Well, is Lucas coming with us?" he asked. Ortiz shook his head. "No. At least that's what he told me. Brody's going to try to convince him, though." O'Neill looked towards the closed door sadly. "I hope he can. Lucas is a good kid. He doesn't deserve this much pain." *********** Inside Lucas' quarters, Brody was straddling a chair facing the bunk where Lucas lay. "Listen to me, Lucas. You're not going to sit here and rot like a vegetable while she's out there living her life, probably not even giving you a second thought. I won't let you." Lucas stared at the ceiling and answered stubbornly, "For now, that's what I'm going to do." Brody became more insistent. "You can't do this to yourself, Lucas. You're going to drive yourself insane if you do." Lucas glared at him, got off the bunk and flipped on some music. The first song that came on had obviously been played many times over the previous few days because Brody remembered hearing it playing at top volume every time he passed Lucas' quarters. Lucas sat back on the bunk, listening sadly. Oceans apart, day after day And I slowly go insane. I hear your voice on the line But it doesn't stop the pain. If I see you next to never How can we say forever? Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you. I took for granted all the times That I thought would last somehow I hear the laughter, I taste the tears But I can't get near you now Oh, can't you see it baby, You've got me going crazy. Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you. I wonder how we can survive this romance But in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance. During the entire song, Lucas had sat curled up on Tony's bunk, his arms wrapped around his knees, crying. Brody searched for something to say, but couldn't find the words. Megan obviously meant more to him than anyone had realized. The song ended, but a moment later, the opening lyrics started again. Realizing that Lucas had put the song on repeat, Brody glanced over at Lucas. Seeing the immense pain he was in, Brody took a deep breath, lowered the volume on the radio and then sat next to Lucas. He put a gentle hand on Lucas' forearm. "We're only trying to help." Lucas shrugged him off, pushing him away both physically and emotionally. "I don't need help," he said angrily. "There's only one thing I need right now and I can't have it because it's been taken from me." He took a deep breath, sighed, and continued softly, "Why is it that every time I care about someone they leave me?" He dropped his head onto his knees and began sobbing again. Brody was stunned for a second, but quickly recovered and spoke soothingly. "Not everyone has left you, Lucas. Miguel, Tim and I are still here for you. Captain Bridger hasn't left you. We all want to help." He stopped for a moment, searching for the words. "You have to forget her. The more you think about her, the more miserable you're going to be." Lucas' reply was muffled, his face still buried in his knees as he spoke. "Forget her? How can I forget her? She meant so much to me." "Look, everyone goes through this at least once in their lives. That doesn't mean that you should hole yourself up in your room and cry all day. You may want to do that and it may feel good for a little while, but it's not going to do you any good. You've gotta get out of here and live your life." Lucas looked up at him, his eyes red-rimmed from crying. "I can't do it, Jim. I can't go on without her." Brody looked at him firmly, and pulled him to his feet. "Yes, you can. You can do it, and you're going to start by coming on leave with me, Tim and Miguel." "Where are you guys headed?" Lucas wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. Brody smiled a little. "We're going upworld to get some girls." Lucas looked at him warily. "I don't know if I'm ready to do anything like that..." "You'll be fine." Brody reassured, then a smile crossed his face. "Now put on something nice & let's go," he teased. Lucas smiled slightly at him, amused. "Good, at least you're smiling. That's a good start. We'll be waiting outside your door for you." Brody patted him on the arm reassuringly and left Lucas alone again. Lucas sighed deeply, looking towards his wrists again. He walked to his desk and picked up his swiss army knife. He opened it up and carefully examined the blade. He looked from his wrists to the blade several times. *********** Ortiz, O'Neill and Brody were just starting to get impatient when they heard a loud crash coming from Lucas' quarters. O'Neill reacted first, charging for the hatch, Ortiz and Brody following right behind him. O'Neill threw open the hatch and stood in the hatchway, horrified. Lucas was lying on the ground unconscious, his left wrist slit open. O'Neill and Ortiz rushed to the boy's side, trying to revive him while Brody called for a med team. A short while later, a med team arrived with a stretcher. O'Neill held Lucas hand and spoke reassuringly to him. "You're going to be all right, Lucas. Hang in there, buddy." They loaded him onto the stretcher gently and hurried him to MedBay, Brody and Ortiz rushing along with them. O'Neill looked up sadly. "Oh, God. Why? Why did this have to happen?" He dashed towards MedBay after the rest of them. *********** Doctor Kristin Westphalen had taken a rare vacation from her research and had decided to make a visit to _seaQuest_. She sat in med bay, reminiscing, when the med team rushed in. She couldn't get a good view of who they had rushed in because they were surrounding the stretcher, as were O'Neill and Ortiz. Westphalen pulled Brody aside and inquired, "What is going on here?" Brody didn't have a chance to respond because the med team scattered at this point, gathering various instruments and equipment. At this point, Westphalen got a good look at who was on the stretcher and gasped. "Oh my God! Lucas!" She rushed to Lucas' bedside and helped the med team to stabilize him. Once Lucas had been stabilized, fifteen minutes later, Westphalen turned to Brody. "Now perhaps you can tell me exactly what is going on. What happened to Lucas?" Brody glanced at Lucas sadly and then turned back toward Westphalen. "Lucas has been extremely depressed for the past few days. He'd been going out with this girl, Megan, for nearly eleven months and out of nowhere, she dumped him." He looked down at the ground, shaking his head. "He also hasn't eaten in nearly three days." Westphalen sighed exasperatedly. "Then why didn't you do something to help him?" she asked, slightly annoyed. O'Neill winced slightly at this and quickly jumped in. "We did, though. Both Ortiz and Brody tried talking to him." Brody nodded then continued. "I thought I'd convinced him to come ashore with us for a few hours. Y'know, to get his mind off of everything." He sighed deeply, looking at his young friend. "He must've slit his wrists when I left the room to let him change." Westphalen looked at Lucas sadly, moving towards his bedside. She took one of his lifeless hands in hers and said softly, "Lucas, how could you do this? What could be so horrible that it could push you over the edge?" ~~~~~~~~~~~ Two days later, Lucas was still in a coma. A young girl dressed in civilian clothes, about Lucas' age, was sitting at his bedside. She gently took his right hand into her left and stroked his hair with her right. Seaman Anthony Piccolo walked in the room to check on Lucas. He saw the girl sitting by the bedside and smiled a little. "Megan, hi. You made it." "Yeah," she answered softly. "Tony, what happened? Why didn't you tell me that he was this bad? Why did you tell me that he wasn't doing well and that he'd feel better if I were here?" She jumped out of her chair, ready to attack him. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that he was in a coma?!" Tony took a step back and held his hands up. "Whoa, girl," he said defensively. "Calm down. He can probably hear you getting angry and that won't help things any y'know." Megan realized that he was right. After a few deep breaths, she calmed down. Quietly, she answered, "you're right." She sat down at Lucas' bedside again and took his hand in hers. "Lucas, I'm sorry, honey. If I upset you by yelling at Tony, then I apologize." She continued to look at Lucas' still face for several moments before she began crying softly. Tony started to feel uncomfortable and decided to leave them alone. He turned away and moved toward the hatch. "Tony, I need to know," she said, not taking her eyes off of Lucas. "What exactly happened?" Tony turned around reluctantly. "Um, I don't know if it's really my place to tell you," he said hesitantly. She looked at Tony desperately. "Please, I'm begging you. I need to know if I'm ever going to understand what happened." He walked back to Lucas' bedside and looked down at him, genuinely concerned. He put a hand on his roommate's forearm and spoke sadly. "I'm sorry, buddy. She's gotta know." He looked at Megan and tried to speak without upsetting her any more than she already was. "He was kinda depressed when you broke up with him. He'd holed himself up in the room and kicked me out. Brody was trying to convince him to come out of there and go on shore leave with him, Ortiz and O'Neill. Brody thought he'd convinced him to go, but as soon as he left, Lucas musta grabbed his knife and slit his wrists open." Megan gasped in horror, still crying. Tony put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "He loved you, Megan. I think he still does. You really upset him when you left." "Oh, Lucas," she whispered sadly. "I had no idea. Why didn't you just talk to me?" She gently caressed his hair, looking at his pale face. Tony looked back and forth between Megan and Lucas several times. He decided that this would be a good time to make his exit. Piccolo quietly slipped away, this time unnoticed. Megan began sobbing. "Lucas, why did you do this to yourself? Please don't leave me." ~~~~~~~~~~~ Three days later, Lucas had woken from his coma, but remained unconscious. Megan was still at his bedside. Captain Nathan Bridger walked into the room. He noticed Megan's worn face as she slept, her head on the bed, still holding Lucas' hand. Bridger gently shook her. She slowly woke up, looking at Lucas, concerned. "Megan?" Bridger's fatherly voice calmed her and she looked up at him questioningly. "Maybe you should get some sleep in an actual bed rather than staying in a chair. You'll feel better if you do." "No," Megan was insistent. "I can't leave him. He needs me to be here." He put a gentle hand on her arm. "Lucas loves you. You know that. The best thing you can do right now is to get some rest. That's what he'd want you to do." Not taking her eyes off of Lucas, she responded, "I can't leave him until I know that he'll be all right." "Megan, Lucas is like a son to me. I'm concerned about him, too. I want more than anything for him to be well. I'll sit with him until you get back." Noticing Megan's uneasiness, he added, "I'll call you if anything happens." "Promise?" Her voice was tiny and unsteady. Bridger nodded reassuringly and smiled at her. "Well," she consented, "I don't think I'd be able to sleep, not knowing about Lucas and all. But I'm at least going to eat something, and maybe take a shower. I'll be back in twenty minutes." "Take your time, Megan. Don't worry. I won't leave his side." Bridger looked at Lucas' pale face, then back up at her. Megan leaned over and gently kissed Lucas' forehead. She quickly hurried away, before she could change her mind. Bridger sat in the chair Megan had vacated and stared at the young man he'd come to look at as a son. "Lucas, I don't understand why you did what you did, but I'm trying to. Megan really does care about you. As soon as Tony told her you were in trouble, she rushed to _seaQuest_. She literally ran to your bedside. That's the first thing she did when she got on board. She asked where you were and demanded that someone show her where to find you. She nearly collapsed when she saw you lying here. We almost needed to get a med team for her." He continued to sit there for several minutes in silence, staring at Lucas' lifeless form. He tried to stop himself from crying, but despite his best efforts, a lone tear slides down his cheek. Painfully, he said, "Lucas, why did you do this? How could you just decide it was time for you to leave everyone that cares so much about you? I've already lost Robert. I can't bear to lose you, too." He dropped his head onto the bed and his entire body shook with the deep emotion he was feeling. Westphalen entered the MedBay with Megan and walked directly over to him. She gently placed her hands on his shoulders in a gesture of comfort. Suddenly, Bridger's expression changed to one of surprise and he turned to Westphalen, somewhat surprised. "I think Lucas just squeezed my hand!" Westphalen didn't react quite as strongly to the news, sensibly pointing out, "it could have been an involuntary muscle spasm." Bridger looked back toward Lucas. "I doubt it." Megan looked at him, silently asking to resume her spot at Lucas' bedside. She doesn't look much more relaxed than she had before, but she hadn't wanted to be away from Lucas for any longer than she needed to. Bridger got up and Megan eased her way into the chair. She took Lucas' hand into hers and gently kissed it. Attempting to sound cheerful, she said, "You're going to be fine, Lucas. I know it." Bridger and Westphalen glanced at each other sadly, then quietly backed away, allowing Megan time alone with Lucas, but staying close enough to monitor him. Megan continued speaking with him, this time her voice almost pleading. "Lucas, you've got to pull through. Please. If not for me then for yourself. You have so many people here that care about you and want nothing more than for you to be happy. Everyone here loves you, Lucas." She paused for a few seconds as a revelation came to her. Carefully, she continued. "_I_ love you. Unfortunately, it took you coming this close to death for me to realize it. I made a mistake when I left you. I didn't think that I was ready for our relationship to be as intense as it was. I didn't think that my feelings for you were as strong as they are." She bent her head and kissed Lucas' hand. Closing her eyes for a brief second, she whispered, "Please come back to me, Lucas." She rested her head on her hands, which were still holding his one. Suddenly, she looked up, hopeful. "Lucas?" she asked, her voice filled with anticipation. She eagerly turned to Bridger and Westphalen. "I think you were right, Captain Bridger! Lucas just squeezed my hand, too." Westphalen quickly approached Lucas' bedside and began checking his vital signs. "He appears to be coming around." A loud clatter in the hall distracted them, which was followed by the sound of people's feet pounding on the deck. O'Neill ran into the room, followed closely by Ortiz. Breathless, O'Neill managed to gasp out, "How is he?" Ortiz, equally as breathless, explained, "Tim is insane. We were in the mess hall, eating, when he just yelled, "Lucas!", and ran out. I had to follow him to make sure that he didn't hurt himself on his way in here." "So," O'Neill cut in, "how is he?" Westphalen smiled slightly at O'Neill's eagerness. "Both Captain Bridger and Megan felt Lucas squeezing their hands. At first I thought it might have been an involuntary muscle spasm, but now, by looking at his vital signs, I doubt it." Lucas' eyes opened slowly and he looked around, his eyes coming to a rest on Megan. Wearily, he managed to whisper, "Megan? Is that really you?" Relieved, Megan kissed him. "Yes, Lucas." "I'm not dreaming? You're really here?" His voice strained with every word he spoke. He gently squeezed her hand and with all the strength he could muster up, brought it to his lips and kissed it. "I think this young man needs to get some rest," Westphalen interjected. "He's been through quite an ordeal." "Can I at least stay with him?" Megan begged. "I don't see why not. However, I do need to examine him first." They all continued to stand around, their expressions saying 'what are you waiting for?'. Westphalen sighed exasperatedly and explained, "I can't do it with all of you crowding around." Bridger quickly took the hint. "Maybe we should wait in the hallway," he suggested. Noticing Megan's reluctance to leave, he put his hand on her arm & started to gently led her out of the room. "You can come back in once Doctor Westphalen examines him. He's out of danger now. I think he'll be all right if you leave him for two minutes." With one last glance at Lucas, she conceded and walked out, Bridger still holding her arm. Westphalen started checking him over, speaking almost reprimandingly. "You gave us all quite a scare, Lucas." He interrupted her, still somewhat confused. "I wasn't dreaming? That was really Megan?" Smiling, she continued her examination. "Yes, it was. She rushed to _seaQuest_ as soon as she heard that you were in danger." Incredulously, Lucas said, "So she really _does_ care." "Yes, she does, Lucas. Very much." Westphalen finished her examination. "Now you get some rest -- doctor's orders." Shaking her head, she walked to the hatch and stuck her head out. "Okay, I'm finished. You can come in and see him if you'd like." Megan rushed past her, directly to Lucas' bedside. She kissed him on the forehead and gently stroked his hair. "You scared me so much, you know that? Tony told me that you were in trouble and that you needed me. I didn't expect to come on to _seaQuest_ and find you in a coma." Lucas looked into her eyes, almost studying them. "You know, I had the strangest dream. I dreamt you were standing in front of me, dressed in white, and you were telling me that you loved me. You looked like an angel. It was a really strange dream." Looking away, he disheartenedly said, "Considering that it'll probably never happen." "Lucas, I did say that." Megan said, turning his face toward her. "You were unconscious at the time. I was reminding you about how much everyone else here loves you and cares about you when I realized that I love you." Lucas smiled a little and joked, "Remind me to thank Tony for getting me an angel." Megan blushed and hit him lightly on the arm. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Two days later, Megan and Lucas sat by the Moon Pool, playing with Darwin. "Darwin missed Lucas." Lucas bent over and started petting Darwin. "Well, I missed you, too, Darwin." Straightening up, he put his arm around Megan & lightly kissed her on the cheek. "And I missed you." Megan backed away slightly, looking down at the ground. "Lucas, can you ever forgive me for being so stupid. I really don't know what came over me when I broke up with you. Do you think that you could ever find it in your heart to take me back?" Lucas hesitated for a second. Noting his hesitation, Megan looked up, noticing the teasing look on his face. "Well, I don't know..." Megan laughed and rolled her eyes. "Now I know you're definitely getting better. You're starting to tease me again." "Of course. What makes you think I'd do any differently?" Looking into her eyes, he continued. "Megan, I love you and I'd do absolutely anything for you." Taking a deep breath, he finished, "How about if we give it another try?" He stood up and held his arms out to her. She hesitated for a second, then got up and walked into his arms, embracing him. They held each other for a brief moment before Lucas pulled away. He looked into her eyes, cradling one of her cheeks in his hand, the other arm still around her waist. He moved toward her and gently kissed her. She smiled warmly at him and put both her arms around his neck. She returned the kiss, her eyes shining brightly. Darwin splashed them both and squealed with delight. "Lucas in love!" Lucas and Megan broke apart and started laughing. Lucas splashed Darwin back and with a devlish glance at Megan, splashed her with the water. She raised her eyebrows and a water fight started between them. Laughing, the two teenagers embraced again, holding each other close as if they were never going to let go. THE END "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx is used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Joxer's faithful and fierce sidekick; High Priestess of Ares :) Pandora's Realm: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Lair/4867 "If it weren't for you believing in me...I probably wouldn't have had the courage to go on. But knowing that you're there, supporting me, gives me the strength to face every challenge and to endure the pain." - Kyra Martinez, "Chasing Time" (my sQ story!) "Heroes or fools, that's a determination that others will make in hindsight. But by being here now, we make that determination for ourselves and it's neither." - Colonel T.C. McQueen, "Space: Above and Beyond" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~