Date: Sat, 09 May 1998 01:03:43 -0500 (EST) From: "Vincenti, Michelle" Subject: "On My Own" Sender: owner-tales@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu To: tales Cc: Katerina , KWFT78C , Larie Stoley , PaxtnKrieg Reply-to: tales@mcfeeley.cc.utexas.edu 'kay, I wrote this short little thing sometime last weekend when I was severely procrastinating from doing any work. I'd just gotten back from seeing the movie version of "Les Miserables" (wonderful movie!) and had the music to the Broadway show on...and this story just came out of nowhere. I must've listened to Eponine about 15 times while writing this! Anyway, it takes place between parts 1 & 2 of "Chasing Time" (Y'know, that impossibly long story that took forever for me to finish...) right after the sQ disappears. Y'all know the sQ disclaimer stuff by now -- all sQ canon characters referred to aren't mine. They belong to Amblin, etc. Kyra's mine, though. The lyrics to "On My Own" obviously aren't mine (as if I could ever write something like that...). They're from the Broadway show "Les Miserables" -- music by Claude-Michel Schonberg, lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer, copyright 1987. (I have yet to see the play, but I've read the unabridged version of the book, seen the movie & heard the music...go fig...) This story is from Kyra's POV, in case you can't tell :) And don't make me beg for feedback... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "On My Own" by Michelle Vincenti "Why? Why now?" I moaned softly as I sat in my old room at my father's house. Things had just started going right for me for a change and now this had to happen. They're gone. Where could they have disappeared to? People don't just vanish off the face of the earth, do they? All my friends -- gone. "And now I'm all alone again. Nowhere to turn, no one to go to. Without a home, without a friend, Without a face to say hello to." Tim, darling Tim. Almost as much of a best friend to me as he was to Miguel. I can almost hear him as he and Miguel banter over some pointless thing, alternating languages between English and Spanish. "And now the night is near, And I can make believe he's here." Lucas -- my "brother". Poor kid never had a family and somehow he and I had become close enough that he started to think of me as his sister. Not that I quite minded his almost-adoration. He could be a pain, but not the annoying kind that you just wanted to smack upside the head just to keep them in line. Deep in the recesses of my mind, I can hear his protests as Tony kicked them out of his shared quarters so he and I could have some privacy. If he ever resented it, he certainly never showed it. "Sometimes I walk alone at night When everybody else is sleeping. I think of him and then I'm happy With the company I'm keeping." And who could forget sweet, innocent Dagwood? There truly is no word to describe our relationship except for one -- extraordinary. Oddly enough, he was the only one I could turn to after an argument with either Tony or Miguel. Simple-minded, sure, but Dag's a heck of a lot smarter than most people would give him credit for. "On my own, Pretending he's beside me All alone, I walk with him 'till morning." But it is not for them alone that my heart aches. No, my grief is stronger and much more intense for two people who mean more to me than anything in the world -- Miguel Ortiz and Tony Piccolo. "Without him, I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way I close my eyes And he has found me." Miguel - a dear friend since childhood, and strangely enough one of the few people my parents trusted me with. He'd proven himself to my father many times over, being there not only for me, but for Emma as well, looking out for her like a sister. Migs was always like that; he could be a macho, tough guy one minute, but absolutely caring and sensitive the next, should the situation call for it. Mi Miguelito, my dearest friend, yet closer than any brother could ever be. "And I know it's only in my mind That I'm talking to myself and not to him... I love him, But when the night is over, He is gone, the river's just a river. Without him, the world around me changes. The trees are bare and everywhere The streets are full of strangers." But my heart desperately calls out for someone who I've known the least amount of time, yet feel like I've known all my life. Tony Piccolo, the man least likely to get my attention, caught me completely by surprise and captured my heart. So like Miguel, but different in more ways than I could begin to count. My world has been changed since he came into it, like I've found the missing piece of a puzzle, the missing link on my chain. He completes me in a way that no other has. I see the world through different eyes because of him. They're all gone now. Gone, but by no means forgotten. Out of sight, but never out of mind. They're not dead. I'd feel it if they were. But it's like a piece of me has been taken away. I'm alone now -- on my own. I have to go on believing they'll come back. I need to believe just to go on. Without that faith, I'm lost to the darkness that follows at my heels every day of my life -- the darkness that holds the shadows of what I once was, of the life I once led. Alone in the darkness. Waiting. They *will* return someday. They'll come back. I can't lose hope. Gone, but not forgotten. Never let go. Forever in my lonely heart. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ copyright 1998 by Michelle Vincenti Okay, so it's no masterpiece, but I never expected it to be... procrastination does that... My only intent was to give an insight to what Kyra was feeling right after she got the news of the _seaQuest_'s disappearance. I never expected it to come out as her POV, that's for sure... I'm considering writing a couple of more like these to fill in the 10 year gap between parts 1 & 2, just so I won't have *quite* as much to go through in S&L. What do you think? (Yes, this requires actual feedback, guys!) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Joxer's faithful and fierce sidekick; High Priestess of Ares :) :) 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, 11-13 :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Life may hurt...but it goes on." - "A Life So Changed" (Jeane Noriega) "If you begin the day with love in your heart, peace in your nerves, and truth in your mind, you not only benefit by their presence but also bring them to others, to your family and friends, and to all those whose destiny draws across your path that day." - unknown ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pandora's Realm: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Lair/4867 Muses' Corner: http://daniel.drew.edu/~mvincent/poetry/pindex.html