Alternate-recipient: prohibited Resent-date: Mon, 01 Dec 1997 15:24:53 -0600 (CST) Date: Mon, 01 Dec 1997 15:41:13 -0500 (EST) Resent-from: seaQuest-ff-request@escapenet.org From: "Vincenti, Michelle" Subject: (sQ-ff) Turn Back Time (fanfic) Resent-sender: seaQuest-ff-request@escapenet.org To: sQ fanfic list Cc: Tabitha Potter , Lubin Reply-to: seaQuest-ff@escapenet.org Posting-date: Mon, 01 Dec 1997 15:56:00 -0500 (EST) Importance: normal Priority: normal Sensitivity: Company-Confidential UA-content-id: B55ZXDGMS4FB A1-type: MAIL X-Mailing-List: archive/latest/575 X-Loop: seaQuest-ff@stgenesis.org Okay, I didn't think I'd actually do this, but I've just spent the last half hour writing this. I have yet to finish the other stories I've started, but I did manage to write this. It's just a short little thing, so don't be expecting much. I'd been thinking about the B&K series I've been writing and it occurred to me that I didn't have anything that would explain why B&K were having the particular conversation that they were having in "The Hand of Fate". So, I came up with this. It's a short letter from Ben to Katie, and well, it's basically self-explanatory. I hope I didn't contradict myself *too* much, but then again...I may write Katie's response to it eventually, but for now, here's Ben's side of it... ************************** "Turn Back Time" by Michelle Vincenti My dearest Katie, I don't know if you're going to hate me as soon as you notice my handwriting on this page, but I'm writing it by hand, rather than typing it, to prove to you that every word of it is coming straight from my heart. You may hate me by the time you finish reading this, but please at least read it through and hear me out. You've always been the most precious thing in my life, Katie. Reconciling the way I treated you has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Cheating was inexcusable and leaving was even worse. I don't know how you could still be speaking to me, even civilly, after the way I acted. I was a fool to let you get away from me. I have done nothing but think about you since the day I left. If I could turn back time and find my way back to you, I would. I swear it. Your love has always been more precious to me than the worth of any diamond or precious gemstone. I can't understand how I let the one thing that ever meant anything to me slip away the way I let you get away from me. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, baby, and I realize how much of a mistake it was for me to leave like I did. I know there may not be a way for me to regain your love, at least not very easily, but I'm willing to try. I will do anything it takes if you could only understand how truly sorry I am for all the pain I put you through. I love you, my darling. I just want you to know that you have my heart in your hands, just as you have from the first moment I first met you. Bobby knew what he was doing when he introduced us, yet I was such a fool that I didn't realize what a precious gift he'd given me until I'd lost it. He'd given me the gift of you when he introduced us that day at the bar. Okay, so neither of us realized it was a set-up until later that night, but I can honestly say that it's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. But I had to go and throw it all away just for one moment of pleasure. I was lonely, sweetheart. You'd been working long hours and I almost never saw you. When you came home you were always so tired and almost always fell asleep as soon as you walked in the door. There were so many nights that I carried you up to bed because you'd collapsed on the couch, exhausted. One night I went out without you and I, well, did something I have never forgiven myself for. I got very drunk. It's not the drunkenness I'm sorry for, it's what happened as a result of it. I allowed myself to get seduced by a woman who, in my drunken state, looked very much like you. I felt so guilty the next morning that I felt I had no other choice but to leave. I couldn't stay with you after that because every time we would get close, I know I'd remember that one night encounter, that one huge mistake that cost me the one thing that's ever mattered in my life - you. Bobby Bridger gave me the most precious thing when he introduced us and I desecrated his very memory by throwing it all away. I know I can never ask Bobby for his forgiveness, but I can try to make amends with you. If you've read this far, I'm assuming that you at least know what I've been thinking and feeling over the past couple of years. Katie, I hope you know that I would do anything for you and I'd do just about anything if you'd just give me one more chance. Yours forever, Ben ************************** copyright 1997 by Michelle Vincenti Well, what do y'all think? I'd really love to know what you guys think of it...any and all feedback is appreciated, but keep in mind, this was one of those things that just came to me off the top of my head in the middle of nowhere... Please, please, please give me some feedback! I'm not one to beg, but I'm doing it now...I'm working on the sequel to "Dreams" and I'm wondering if I should send it out once it's done...the responses I get to this will determine whether it goes directly to my page or I send it to the list ;) Not to be mean, but I *really* want to know what your feelings are about this - no matter what it is. Even if you think this came from left field, I wouldn't mind hearing that...Okay, now I'm rambling, but hopefully you get my point. ~Michelle <|:) (smiley with a Christmas hat!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Michelle Vincenti - Questie, MSTie, X-Phile, Dweeb, Tedite mvincent@drew.edu / RedMenace2018@hotmail.com fanfic page: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Lair/4867 "We are all made up of our experiences, both good and bad. We can no more wish away the bad than we can wish ourselves away. We can merely live each day and look to the future. For in the future lies hope." - unknown "Don't let anyone tell you who you are or who you could be." - Jett, "King of Assassins" (X:WP) "It's a big ocean out there...maybe there are a few things you and I don't understand." - Lieutenant Ben Krieg, "Treasures of the Tonga Trench" "We were so young then. We were so full of dreams and ambitions that we never stopped to look at the reality of things." - Katie Hitchcock, "Straight from the Heart" (fanfic) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---------------------------------------- seaQuest-ff-request@stgenesis.org Subject: unsubscribe