==========================================================================
                           DREAM-MAC FOLLOWUP
                     Kathy Wolenczak a.k.a. Kathleen Brown
==========================================================================
   Timeline: After "SeaQuest 2032"
   Author's E-Mail: kwolenczak@hotmail.com
==========================================================================

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
A followup to "Macronesian War Story", based on a dream I had. A decent
title will be appreciated..... ::shrugs::


==========================================================================


The year is 2034. New York has had the spotlight moved away, further south,
to New Cape Quest. Sadly not many people come here anymore, and no one sees
how wonderful it's become. Mayor Shannon Tobin in 2023 got this city back
on it's feet, cleaned up the projects, and brought violence down to a level
no worse than any other large city. It's back to being the classy, upscale
place it was at the turn of the _twentieth_ century. Columbia University
still stands, stately, as the snow falls two days before Christmas. Dorms
are more or less empty, and pretty much everyone's gone home for the
holidays. Some professors remain, as well as maintenance crews preparing
for the next semester. In a large, architecturally hall there is a small
apartment occupied by a young man who no one can quite figure out what his
occupation or purpose is at this college. As far as anyone can tell he
_should_ be a student, but he never goes to class. He lives in a
professor's hall but he's far too young to teach. He's often seen sitting
outside with a book, reading, until the weather got cold and he moved his
books into his room. No one could even find out his _name_. 

    His room was large and cluttered into a restrained mess. Large
bookshelves jammed with texts, novels, and paperbacks lined the walls.
There was a large wooden desk to the right of the door, and a couch facing
the door in the middle of the room, with a coffee table before it. Books
and magazines lay strewn across it. In the other corner, to the left of the
door, was a dark wooden table and two chairs. The table sat between a
window and the bookshelves, and on the other side of the window was a small
counter, an equally small functional stove, and a small, almost "office",
refrigerator. On the couch, sitting wrapped in a soft, worn blanket, was a
young man. Lucas Wolenczak. He looked as we remembered him. His hair
remained long, but not overly so, his eyes were still blue and bright,
although slightly hidden by small, metallic-framed glasses. He sat reading
a thick novel, and drinking a mug of hot chocolate he just made. He was
very, very happy. It was a very good birthday for him. He woke up and it
was snowing, and then took his long walk across campus to the library and
picked up some groceries for a dinner he had planned tonight. He was going
to get to see Ann....

    He looked up at the knocking on his door and smiled. Was she coming early
to surprise him? How sweet... He stood slowly, taking care to set his mug
down on the coffee table, and untangle himself from his blanket. "Hang
on..." He walked across the room, passed the coffee table and desk, and
unlocked the door. He stared in shock at who stood on the other side. Two
people he had not seen for two years of his life.

    Hudson smiled. The young man looked wonderful. He was growing up nicely.
He was standing tall, obviously the therapy on his legs had gone well, but
Hudson couldn't see the progress on his mind... "Hello, Lucas."

 He couldn't think of anything to say...what do you say to a man you've
been hiding from for two years. "How did you find me?" He wasn't accusing
Hudson, in fact, he seemed almost relieved to be found.

    "With a lot of patience. Can we come in?"

    Lucas looked to the captain's companion. J.J. Fredericks. It had been
such a long time, and, to Lucas' eyes, she was just as beautiful. He could
barely nod, but once he could manage, they walked inside. J.J. looked
around, smiling, looking at how "Lucas" this room truly was, but nobody
ever knew until now. It was warm and inviting, filled with books and
knowledge, better suited to comfort than aesthetic pleasure, but _still_
gorgeous. Lucas stood there, still in shock, wracking his half-shattered
mind for what he should be doing right now. J.J. smiled at him and sat on
the couch, moving the blanket he had been previously wrapped in to a comfy
reading chair beside the couch. This seemed to snap Lucas out of his state.

    "Uh....._yeah_, sit down, you guys want anything to drink? Coffee? I just
made some water...."

    Hudson smiles. Lucas nearly blushes as he sits down on the comfy
chair, holding the blanket in his lap. The room is all ready nearing an
uncomfortable silence. J.J. looked around, then finally spoke up. "So
Lucas....what made you decide to come here?"
    He thought a long while. "I love snow. And it's big enough for me to get
lost in a crowd, but not too big for me to get lost and not be able to get
home. They have a great library, and the people here are nice... I needed
someplace where nobody would recognize me, and that's the only reason I
didn't go back to Stanford."
    Hudson was dry of ideas. J.J. had plenty. "Are you taking any classes?"
    Lucas shook his head slowly. "My doctor says it's not a good idea just
yet. I want to, though..." He looked at them. "How did you find me?"

    J.J. looked to Hudson to field that one. He sighed and cleared his throat.
   "Well, when we couldn't find any evidence of you taking any plane trips we
assumed you were still in the New York where you had gone in the first
place, but we couldn't find anyone who had heard of you and you hadn't used
any of your credit cards. You changed your handle on the Internex, so once
we found your new one we tracked down your Nex usage to here."
    Lucas swallowed hard. He felt like they'd violated his privacy. They knew
things about him... He couldn't get away, he has no secrets. He looked at
them. "Why'd you come now?"
    Grinning, Hudson turned to him. "Twenty-first birthday, it's a big deal.
We didn't want you to be alone."
     "But, I'm _not_ alone, in fact...I have plans."

    J.J. wondered if this was a bad idea. "Are we interrupting something?
Should we leave?"
    "Oh, no, that's okay...it's not for hours.... I'm going out to dinner
with a ....friend."
    Hudson suspected something more. "A _friend_?"
    Lucas blushed. "Well....my fiance."

    Hudson nearly choked. *Lucas?! Mentally-ill, can't-show-his-emotions,
practically _insane_ Lucas?! With a _fiance_?!* Finally, Hudson regained a
_little_ of his composure. "When did this happen?"

    "Thanksgiving. We've been going out for 13 months. I felt we were ready
for it. My doctor doesn't approve, but she makes me happy and I can see
_no_ danger in that..."

    It warmed J.J. to see him so happy. "Is she from around here?"
    "She's a  student..."
    "Where'd you two meet?"
    Lucas struggled with that one. He took a long, slow deep breath. "She's a
psych major in her internship with my doctor. We met the day my doctor was
forcing me to recall things from a long time ago. I couldn't handle it and
broke down, and Ann was the one who got me through that."
    J.J. smiled. "That's so sweet..." Lucas blushed. He looked down at his
watch and pushed at his still-long hair.
    "I'm sorry, but I've really got to eat something, do you guys want
anything? Anything at all?" J.J. and Hudson both declined. "Are you sure?"
They nodded. Lucas sighed and went over, pulling something from his
refrigerator and sticking it in the microwave. He swallowed hard and took a
gamble with his question. "So Captain....how's seaQuest?"

    "Fine. Everyone misses you...." Lucas blushed. Hudson smiled. "Tony's
having a blast, he made Lieutenant." Lucas smiled to himself.
    "Yeah. I know."

    "You know all ready? How?"

    "You forget, Captain. I'm still a hacker, there's no two ways about it.
I watch over you guys..." Lucas turned to J.J. and smiles graciously.
"Congratulations, Commander." It was J.J.'s turn to be humble now. Lucas'
microwave beeped softly. He took out the hot pasta and cheesy-sauce
concotion and put it on the table. He then went to his counter, picked up a
small bottle of prescription pills, and took one. J.J. watched with
interest, then walked over to see what it is Lucas was eating.
    "Smells good. What is it?"
    Lucas took another sip of his drink and sighed. "Tuna, cheese, and
pasta." He shrugged passively. "It's one of the few things I can make
without burning or melting." Lucas smiled and looked to Hudson, who was
still slightly upset by watching Lucas take his medication. Lucas sighed
deeply. "It's to settle my stomach, Captain."
    Hudson nodded without so much as a recognition he'd heard. Since he found
out Lucas tried to kill himself nearly a year ago, he had been terribly
worried about Lucas living on his own. "Have you talked to Captain Bridger
lately?"
    Lucas had to smile at that one. "He called this morning to wish me a
happy birthday. I think I've gotten more e-mail today than I have in the
passed _year_. J.J., _do you want some_?" She smiled and so did Lucas. He
got out another ceramic bowl and dished some of the food out to her.
"Captain?", he raised his eyebrows. Hudson still stubbornly refused. Lucas
shrugged and went over to sit back down on the comfy-chair, his bowl in his
lap on top of the blanket to avoid burning his legs. The silence was
tangible as both J.J. and Hudson stared at Lucas as he slowly ate. The
expression on his face became pained as he sighed and looked at them both.
"I think you both should leave. I didn't ask you to come here and you're
making me really uncomfortable in my own home. I'm..._so_ sorry, but
there's no way I'm going to be able to relax with you here, and I have to
take a shower and get dressed before Ann gets here later. Maybe you guys
could come back a little later? Maybe tomorrow? I really want you guys to
meet her.... She really wants to meet _you_."

    Hudson nodded softly. He could sympathize. Both him and J.J. stood, and
so did Lucas. He walked them to the door. Unexpectedly, he hugged J.J. She
smiled and held him close, too.
    "I really missed you, J.J....."
    "I miss you, too, Lucas."

    He pulled away and pushed at his long hair. "I'm sorry."
    "No, it's okay. I feel the same was you do." He managed a weak smile.
Hudson turned to him and gave him a gentle hug, too. Lucas rested his head
on his ex-captain's chest and let the hot tears soak into his off-duty
shirt. Hudson gave Lucas' long hair a gentle stroke, and slowly pulled
away. 
    "You've made it this far, ensign. Don't give up now." Lucas swallowed
hard and nodded forcefully, pushing his feelings down. Hudson smiled and gave
Lucas' shoulder a firm pat before leaving. Lucas closed the door and rested
back against it. This half hour had been more stressful than any one moment
in the passed two years. And on his _birthday_. He couldn't let Ann see him
this way.

    He walked into the small bathroom in his apartment and ran himself a
shower. He quickly and quietly took care of his eating....problem with no
more than a second thought. He brushed his teeth thoroughly and then stood
in the pounding shower for the better part of an hour. He washed himself
twice and once he was done, stayed longer. And thought. He looked down
towards his feet and looked at the heavy white scarring cris-crossing his
legs. Now the problem most bothersome to Lucas was the fact he could
_never_ tell when a flashback was coming....

                             * * * * *

    He was laying on a table screaming in pain. Doctors were poking at his
swollen, infected, horribly painful legs. They were trying to decide where
to break them again. Alexander Bourne stood not far away, watching as Lucas
cried out.
    Lucas tried to struggle but was securely tied to his bed by restraints.
He screamed loudly for help, but they were absolutely deaf to him. He
wanted to be let go more desperately than he had ever wanted _anything_ in
his entire life. Through the corner of his tear-blurred eyes he could see a
doctor coming towards him with a needle. He wanted to get away, he needed
to get away _now_. But the restraints were too strong for even his feverish
rage. The needle plunged into his skin like fire, and he cried out once
more. He looked to the man who monitored his vital signs and pleaded with
him. "Please, don't let them do this. They're hurting me, don't you see how
they're hurting me? Don't let them do this, please!" The man held his
emotions tightly in check, President Bourne was staring at him. All he
could do was his job, and he placed an oxygen mask over Lucas' face. Lucas
pulled away, he didn't want it. He knew they were trying to keep him lucid,
for what, he didn't know. Doctors were spreading a brownish or reddish
liquid across is legs. In the dim light he couldn't tell. Was it someone
else's blood? That would be very strange.... Iodine? Bourne walked over to
him. Lucas hated the sight of him. He contemplated spitting at the man to
voice his distaste, but decided it would be best to save that for another
time.
    Bourne wanted answers "Mr. Wolenczak... do you feel like telling me where
your friends are today?"
    "How many times do I have to tell you, I _don't_ know!"
    "When are they planning on breaking you free?"
    "They're dead for all I know!"

    Lucas then screamed in agony as somehow, someone put an extreme pressure
on his left leg. The pain was more than he'd ever imagined possible.
Through the haze Bourne was still speaking. "Where are the plans for the
new metal, Lucas..."

    "I DON'T KNOW!!! If I knew I'd tell you, now just please stop!!!!"
    The pressure continued and he screamed aloud, there was an audible snap
as his leg was broken. He laid there in silence, sweating heavily, in
agonizing pain. He breathed heavily.

    Eyeing Lucas' legs, he Bourne spoke to the hesitating doctors. "The other
one. Now."

    A man in a surgeon's mask and scrubs looked up in horror. "Sir, if I...
he doesn't have any anesthesia, his heart's liable to give out under that
kind of strain. Just give him a few minutes longer."
    "Now!" He was at the end of his rope. If one more man disobeyed him today,
_they'd_ be the one lying on this table.
    The man once again placed the oxygen mask over Lucas' face. This time,
he didn't complain. His chest rose and fell methodically with his shallow
breathing. The doctors who were doing this horrible, horrible "procedure"
knew what they were doing was wrong, but they had no choice. They whispered
amongst themselves. "He's going to die if we do this now." "Do you see any
other choice?" The doctor looked to Lucas's face. His eyelids were
fluttering as he took each strained breath, his eyes were red-rimmed and
bloodshot. He was soaked with sweat and nearly moaning in terrible pain. He
was shivering as shock set in, and his legs lay in a pool of blood and
bacteria-killing fluids. He was a tiny, tiny person by way of body mass,
and he was too young and too frail to subject to this. "He's _going_ to
die." Another man hissed to him. "And President Bourne's going to kill us
if we don't do what he wants. There's really no other choice." The doctor
sighed deeply. "Forgive us", and Lucas screamed at the very top of his
lungs, ending it with painful, back-breaking sobbing. Bourne smiled.
    "Mr. Wolenczak....can you hear me?"
    Through his fog of pain and terrible fear, he could only think of one
more thing to say. "Go to hell".
    "Aw....is that any way to speak to the man who decides whether or not
you get food or blankets or medicine to control that pain you're so weakly
letting get to you?"
    Lucas had to wrack his brain just to think of something to say in reply.
"I don't want anything from you."
    "I don't think that's true". Bourne looked to the doctors. "Hurt him. Make
him scream again." They were at a loss. What was this man asking him to do?
"Do it!" Might as well kill two birds with one stone, eh? A doctor reached
down to Lucas' leg and pressed his bones into motion so they might meet up
correctly. Lucas screamed in agony once more. "Tell me where the plans are,
Ensign!"

    "My name is Lucas Wolenczak! Serial number ENS-3255-23-ZZ2! Ensign,
United States Navy, December twenty-third 2003! Go to hell!"
    "Please, I'm so tired of this." He turns to another doctor. "Again!"
    Lucas screamed again, his consciousness slowly fading. His voice was soft
now, as he spoke. He looked at Bourne with his wide blue eyes, which were
rimmed with red and bloodshot. "Lucas Wolenczak. Serial number
ENS-3255-23-ZZ2. Ensign, United States Navy, December twenty-third 2003."
He slipped out of consciousness.

                             * * * * *

    Lucas awoke from his flashback in a cold sweat, shivering as he laid
naked on top of his bed. He didn't know how he had gotten here, or how long
his flashback had taken. He lifted is head and pushed as his dark, wet hair.
He sat up and wrapped a towel around himself before continuing, albeit
shakily, with his post-shower routine.

    Later on, Lucas was dressed in suit-pants and a jacket, along with a
white collarless shirt, no tie. His hair was brushed back and he was quietly
slipping his nausea medication into his pocket when the door was knocked
upon. He pushed a hand through his long hair as he walked across his
now-neat apartment to the door. He opened it and smiled at Hudson and J.J..
J.J.'s mouth nearly fell open in shock.
    "Wow. Don't you look nice?"
    Lucas blushed and ran another hand through his hair. "Well... it's kindof
a big deal for us."
    J.J. smiled and nodded as the pair entered. Hudson looked around.
    "Oh, I get it, you clean for her but not us?"
    Lucas looked at Hudson in terror. "But I....I didn't know you were
coming...." He was in an absolute, completely sudden _panic_.
    "No, Lucas, I was kidding...."
    Lucas looked at Hudson a long moment, trying to figure out what he was
saying. Finally it dawned upon him. "Ohh...." He looked at the floor in
shame. Everyone in the room was uncomfortable now. Lucas walked across to
his desk to get his keys. J.J. walked over, caught by Lucas' keyring.
    "Lucas, can I see that?"
    He looked around in confusion. "See what?" she took the clump of keys
from him. "Oh..."

    She gazed in awe at the tiny blue metal seaQuest that was his keychain.
It was accurate in every respect, even with the propulsion "tentacles"
where the metal links attached it to the circular ring. "Where'd you get
this?"
    Protectively taking it back, he slipped the keychain into his pocket, "It
was a gift".
    Hudson looked at Lucas. "A gift from Ann?"
    Lucas looked at Hudson. He gave a curt nod and turned away.
    There was a knock at his door. He instantly brightened and opened wide
the door. It was a girl. Ann. Her hair was long and blonde, she stood several
inches shorter than Lucas, and was his age. She was also very slender, they
could practically be brother and sister. She wrapped her arms around Lucas
and kissed him passionately. She finally pulled back and gazed into Lucas'
eyes. "Happy birthday, honey."
    He smiled at her and let her see Hudson and J.J. "Ann, this is Captain
Hudson and Lieutenant Commander J.J. Fredericks."
    Ann looked deeply into Lucas' eyes. "_The_ Captain Hudson?" Lucas nodded,
he had hoped this would work out... Ann saw the apprehension and fear in
Lucas' eyes and decided not to let her personal feelings get in the way,
but merely shake hands and do it for him. She managed a somewhat sickly
smile as she met Hudson, and a very emphatic one for J.J. This woman kept
her fiance alive in the most difficult time of his life. She had a lot to
be grateful for. "Thank you, Commander".
    "What are you thanking me for?" J.J.'s wholly bewildered.
    "For keeping my Lucas alive."
    "Oh, well, don't thank me, Captain Hudson's the one who got him out of
there..." Lucas was growing more and more fidgety by the second, he wanted
it over, now, he was anxious and claustrophobic, he wanted only to leave,
he wanted to leave _now_.
    Ann can not contain the emotions she was feeling. "I'm sorry, but if it
wasn't for Captain Hudson none of this would have happened."
    "NO!" Ann, Hudson, and J.J. all turned to Lucas, who was practically
hyperventilating, very frightened. "Captain Hudson did what was right, he
was looking out for me, you think that decision was _easy_ on him? He knew
what he was doing! Ann, please don't be mad at him. _Please_. I think he
was wrong as hell, I think that every day of my life, but he did what he
had to do. Personally, I think his only other choice would be to let my
legs get infected and have me be a double amputee, or kill me right there.
If I could have any choice in it, I would've gladly pulled the trigger on
myself, but since Captain Hudson made the choice then, I'm here with you
today! You should thank him for at least letting me be able to live a
physically normal life!" "Everybody lost hope, everybody told Captain
Hudson I couldn't survive there for three months, but Captain Hudson kept
looking, he wouldn't believe that I was dead, he saved my life, Ann. I owe
him everything!" Lucas stood there, shaking. It had been a long time since
he got mad at anyone, and he didn't like the feeling. Hudson went over and
rubbed his shoulder.
    "It's okay to be mad at me, ensign. I'm very mad at myself over it, too.
I'll never make the same mistake again, I promised you that."
    Ann was still furious, but she backed down. Her feelings meant little
when they conflicted so violently with those of the man she loved so
dearly. "I'm sorry, Lucas. It's just that it's _very_ hard for me to tell
how you're feeling sometimes...." He looked to her, his eyes pained.
"C'mon, honey...let's go out to dinner." He nodded softly in agreement and
looked to Hudson and J.J.
    "Are you guys leaving today? Like, the port?" Hudson nodded. "Then I guess
I won't be seeing you guys anytime soon. Just leave me a number where I can
reach you if I need to, OK?" Hudson nodded softly. "You can leave when
you're done." J.J. was surprised he held such trust in them. Both him and
Ann left silently. Hudson and J.J. looked to each other, bewildered.


    In a classy restaurant, Lucas and Ann were having a meal together. Lucas
ate slowly and quietly, not looking at Ann. She wanted to talk. "Lucas, I'm
sorry."
    He looked at her. "I know, and I told you I forgive you."
    "Then why do I get the feeling you're still mad at me?"
    "Because you're paranoid." He didn't want to blame her specifically, but
he was very much tired of blaming himself. "Ann....I love Captain Hudson,
he's one of the only people, outside of you, who still really cares about
me. He treats me very much differently than he does other people, and I
feel _very_ special when he shows emotion towards me. It's not something he
does lightly. I don't like it when you act so mad at him, because you
really don't _know_ him. I'm not saying...." She cut him off by slowly
shaking her head and placing a gentle hand on his.
    "I know what you're saying, gorgeous. It's OK. I very much believe you."
He blushed slightly. Ann smiled and held his hand a while. "You want your
present now?"
    "But there are people here....", he grinned.
    She playfully slapped at his hand and reached into her purse for a small
box. He took it curiously and opened the top. Inside lay a small velvet
jewelry box. He took it out and opened it. Inside was a silver necklace. He
looked closely at it. It was a Star of David, just like the one his Dad
gave him when he was very little, and then received from Captain Bridger
after he returned from Hyperion. Lucas looked to Ann for an explanation.
"To replace the one you lost...." Lucas looked up at her, tears filling his
eyes. He stood and hugged her tightly.
    "Thank you Ann. You don't know how much this means to me...." She smiled
and hugged him back. He knelt before her and gazed up into her eyes. He
held her left hand, because on that hand she had a silver ring, _his_
silver ring. His _engagement_ ring. He held her close. She smiled and
stroked his long hair.
    "Happy Birthday, Lucas."

    Later on, in Lucas' apartment, he lay in bed with Ann. They made love,
not for the first time, but this was their most special time. She held him
close under the blankets and stroked his long blonde hair. Her voice was
very soft. He was staring out the window at the still-falling snow. His new
silver necklace lay around his neck. "Lucas?"
    His eyes were so blue... "What's wrong?"
    "That's what I'd like to ask you."
    "What do you mean?" He was avoiding the question and she knew it.
    "Lucas, you've been acting strangely all night. Was it just Captain Hudson
being here...or something more?"
    Lucas sighed deeply, from the very bottom of his soul. "I had a
flashback. Not a little one, either."
    "Oh, honey...." She reached out to touch his chest, but he shook his head.
He didn't really want to be touched.
    "When am I gonna get over this?"
    "Lucas, you're doing really well. You're getting a lot better. You just
need to give it some more time."
    "Time I don't have...."
    "Lucas, what do you mean?" He only shook his head and slid from out of the
covers. She sat up, holding the blanket over herself to hide from the
winter chill still present even in the warm room. Lucas sat on the edge of
the bed in his boxer shorts, sighing. "Lucas, talk to me. Tell me." He
slowly shook his head. "You must be freezing." She crawled across the bed
to wrap the blanket around his shoulders

                             * * * * *

    He lay on the floor of the "cell" he had been occupying for the past nine
days. He shivered in fear and cold, not sure when his next meal would come
or if he would get beaten or, God help him, "interrogated" once more. His
legs wracked him with pain from the vile infections and broken splinters of
bone that poked him _from the inside_. His head ached and he needed water.
The room was damp and there was no toilet....he was almost happy they never
fed him anything he had to chew. He curled up tighter into his protective
ball, shivering. He had a very bad feeling about what was to happen next.
The door to his cell was suddenly thrown up by a barrage of pulse weapon
fire and he shrieked in fear, a primitive reaction he couldn't control and
_really_ didn't want at the moment. The heavy metal door was flung open and
soldiers came in. Lucas buried his face in the cloth of the _very_ thin
blanket that was his only protection. Someone grabbed him around his rib
cage and pulled him to his feet. He didn't have the strength or will to
fight anymore. If they killed him, so be it. Rather, someone grabbed him
and held him against their chest, laughing. It took a long time, almost 2
full minutes to figure out whose voice it was the was speaking to him.
Commander Ford. "Ensign! We all thought you were gone... but we knew you
wouldn't give up this easy." Lucas managed to look at him through his
aching, dry eyes. The commander's smile faded like it had never even been
there. "Ensign? Ensign, are you all right? Lucas?" Lucas managed a painful
swallow.
    "I haven't eaten in two weeks....or had something to drink for almost four
days. They interrogated me, and wouldn't let me sleep. They tortured me,
and you weren't there for me." He hadn't meant to accuse the commander,
only let him know how difficult this was.
    Ford grabbed a bottle of water from J.J. and held it to Lucas' lips. He
drank eagerly. Once he took all his tiny stomach could handle, he leaned
heavily on Ford. "Take me home...." Ford gently tried to lead Lucas away.
Lucas pulled back.
    "Lucas, what is it?"
    "I can't walk. My legs hurt."
    Sighing, Ford turned to Dagwood and gave him a look. Lucas sighed deeply,
terribly ashamed. In the shuttle on the way home, Lucas sat on a bench,
alone. Piccolo slowly walked to him. "Lucas?"

    His eyes were bloodshot and filled with tears, but he wasn't allowing
them to fall. His face was filled with pain. "What is it, Tony?"
    "Is there anything I can do...? Can I help you with anything?"
    "I'd like a little more water. If it's okay...."
    "Sure it's okay, Lucas..." Tony walked to Lucas and gave him the clear
plastic container, watching as Lucas continued to drink eagerly. Lucas
finally finished and looked down at his hands. He looked up again, right at
Tony. Sighing deeply, Tony wrapped his arms around Lucas. Lucas stayed
there as his friend and ex-roommate showed the first sign of friendly
affection Lucas had ever seen him give anyone.

                             * * * * *

    "Lucas? Lucas, honey, come back." Her Lucas had been spaced out for nearly
five full minutes, and it was really frightening her. "Lucas?"
    He turned to her, passive. "I'm very sick. I have Post-Traumatic Stress
Disorder, and I'm coming to terms with this very slowly. I'm hiding things
from _myself_, not you. You have to wait as long as I do, okay, Ann?" His
voice was very tired, and his mind was overworked and weary.
    She knew he was having as hard a time as she was, even more so. she loved
him dearly, and that's why she had to give up her pursuit of this. She was
only hurting him by insisting on information he didn't have, not helping
him as she would be by letting the memories come to him. She nodded slowly
and gently rubbed his back. "I'm sorry, Lucas. I know it's hard. I just
want to help you, but I see I'm doing just the opposite. I'm sorry."
    "It's okay. I love you, Ann." He held her close. This was the only person
who loved him. He loved her too, because passed all the horrible things he
had to deal with in his life, she still loved him, and saw the goodness in
him. She'd be there when he got better, and still love him then. Ann was
the one good things that came out of this hell. He wouldn't trade the hell
for anything, because he had finally found what he had been searching all
his life for, because of it.

The End.
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Copyright Kathleen Brown, July 1997

K.W.