Date: Mon, 01 Nov 1999 20:34:13 +0000 (GMT) From: Callie - Subject: [TALES:1481] Fwd: UEO Gazette - Vol. 1, No. 8 Sender: owner-tales@lists.cc.utexas.edu To: tales@lists.cc.utexas.edu Reply-to: tales@lists.cc.utexas.edu X-Originating-IP: [208.24.56.117] From: rolp@juno.com To: freekc@yahoo.com CC: nullo@hotmail.com, cairns@irvens.freeserve.co.uk, dbneher@gte.net, haughey@ihug.co.nz, no-tag-request@junoaccmail.org Subject: UEO Gazette - Vol. 1, No. 8 Date: Sun, 31 Oct 1999 13:44:25 -0500 Guarenteed to be free of aditives, preservative and artificial flavour, it's . . . ~~~~~ | | |~~~ | |---| |=== | | | |___ _) _) _)_)_)_) _)_)_)_) _) _) _) _) _) _) _) _)_)_)_) _) _) _) _) _) _) _) _)_)_)_) _)_)_)_) _)_)_)_) GGGGGGG A ZZZZZZZZZZ EEEEEE TTTTTTTT TTTTTTTT EEEEEE G A A Z E TT TT E G GGGG A A ZZ EEEEEE TT TT EEEEEE G G AAAAAAA ZZ E TT TT E GGGGGGG A A ZZZZZZZZZZ EEEEEE TT TT EEEEEE __________________________________________________________________________ Vol. 1, No. 8 Deanna Toxopeus February 27, 2032 Section A - News Editor -------------------------------------------------------------------------- UEO ATROCITIES AGAINST GELFS EXPOSED - Nibor New capeQuest, Florida- Documents exposing cruel medical experiments inflicted on GELFS were delivered to the offices of the UEO Gazette early this morning. The documents both in data crystals and hard copies were delivered by a man who referred to himself as "Wolfe Molder." Bizarre biological experimentation on unsuspecting GELFS committed by the UEO were carefully documented in the files. As soon as the UEO Gazette realized what the documents were, copies were quickly sent to the Nuremberg Tribunal in Nuremberg, South Germany. The Nuremberg Tribunal is currently reviewing all of the files and vows to quickly prosecute all those involved for Crimes Against Humanity. With the confirmation that biological experimentation on GELFS had occurred, Dagger Nation, a GELF civil rights organization, issued the following statement: "This is only more proof of the cruelty, 'Monotones' have inflicted upon GELFS. Without justice, there can be no peace!" The experimentations, has also set off more protests and riots against the UEO around the world. The latest protest by GELFS against "monotone" atrocities occurred in front of UEO headQuarters. The multi-tone, the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones, the Tone Deaf, Dial Tones, Baritones, Two-Tones, and the Time Lady who says "At the tone the time will be" also joined the GELFS in protest. At press time, the UEO still refuses to comment on the experiments. **** MACRONESIA INVADED BY DISNEY - Deanna Melbourne, Macronesia - It appears that Macronesia was invaded last week by the Disney Corporation. Reports are still sketchy, but last week, Disney sent paratroopers to take over the island confederation. This conflict stems from the copyright dispute over the uniforms of the Macronesian generals. Gazette readers may remeber that in an early issue we brought you details of a complaint Disney filed in the world court against the evil corporate mogul Alexandre Bourne and his country. Apparently the uniforms worn by the Macronesian generals resemble too closely those of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. When the court case became bogged down in red tape, Disney resorted to military measures. Apparently the invasion force were singing "It's a Small World" as they landed. It is unknown if this was the reason for the quick victory by Disney. Rest assured that the Gazette will follow this story. **** NEW CORPORATE SPONSOR FOR ECOTOPIA - Nibor Ecotopia - An anonymous corporation has graciously stepped in to sponsor the fledgling eco-colony of Ecotopia. Ecotopia has also announced its future plan to change its name to "Fruitopia". Coincidentally, Fruitopia INC. will be releasing it's new orange flavour ice tea sometime in January. **** STRANGE MESSAGE RECIEVE BY THE GAZETTE - Deanna & Marsupial UEO Gazette HQ, Ottawa Island, Canada - A strange message was in the fax machine Monday morning when our dedicated staff members arrived. The message read as follows: AS PER THE COMMUNICATIONS DECENCY ACT OF 2032 YOU ARE ALL UNDER PROBATION. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. -Captain O.H. We are wondering what this could mean. **** FORGOTTEN SEAqUEST VETERANS REMEMBERED - Sarah E. Public Library, New capeQuest, New Florida- The Society of Forgotten seaQuest Veterans met today. Official Goods Supplier, Benjamin Krieg, was removed from office and disqualified from the society by President Katherine Hitchcock, on the grounds that Krieg has been officially remembered. Her action was approved by Vice-President Kristin Westphalen and Secretary Shan. Chief of Society Security, Manilow Crocker, opposed the motion. "Now that he's been remembered, maybe he can put in a good word for the rest of us," he said. "She's *still* hung up on me," was Krieg's only response to his disqualification. The Society made its ritual appearance at UEO Headquarters, where the existence of the members was once again denied by Secretary McGrath. "I've never seen or heard of any of you," he said. **** NEW AMBASSADORS TO THE UEO NAMED - Nibor San Diego Island, United Islands of California - During a dinner ceremony held at the Hotel Del Coronado yesterday evening, Secretary McGath announced the names of the new ambassadors to the UEO. New UEO ambassadors named included: Charles Manson and the "Brain of Hitler" from that one B-Movie. Jeffrey Dhamer was also named, but later dropped when it was discovered that he was dead. Despite world wide condemnation, McGath defended his appointments, "Since when is killing people a bad thing, it's not like they're evil corporate mogul bent on world domination or anything." **** VANDALISM REPORTED - Tim O'Neill with Gazette Staffer Sue seaQuest, Scandinavian Confederation, North Atlantic - Broken mops have been found on every deck on seaQuest. One or two were reported shortly after the ship rescued Macronesian refugees from the iceberg that our old friend Ben Krieg left. Soon more and more broken mops were being found all over the ship. There was even one Maglev accident when broken mop handles were the cause of a jam up on one of the lower decks. Dagwood was unavailable for comment as he was cleaning his gun at the time of this report. **** S.D.S.V. MEETING - Sarah E. The Beyond- The Society of Dead seaQuest Veterans met for the first time today. James Brody was elected president, and Miguel Ortiz is V-P, secretary, treasurer, and sole member. Wendy Smith attended, but refused to join. "I'm not dead," she was quoted as saying. "I'm looking for a way to come back. I want to be with Nathan." On leaving the meeting, Smith was attacked by a blonde woman in a sun dress, who was overheard to say, "I don't mind the redheaded scientist, but no bimbo is touching my husband!" Since neither combatant is corporeal, no injuries were sustained. **** BOY-GENIUS RECEIVES ANOTHER PhD - Nibor Bengal Colony- Lucas Walenczak does it again! Adding to his other 254 PhDs, Walenczak will be adding a PhD in Orange Picking. "Gees, I've got PhD's up the wazoo! This is better than getting my PhD in Under Water Basket Weaving!" commented a proud Walenczak. Unfortunately, Walenczak has been turned down for his PhD in American history. Apparently, the boy-genius didn't know much about the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Civil Rights Movement, or the 60's. **** MYSTERIOUS VISITORS VISIT SEAQUEST - Roberto seaQuest DSV, off the San Diego Coast- Saturday morning, seaQuest recieved several mysterious visitors who seemed to appear from out of nowhere and vanish just as mysteriously. According to reports three creatures (two males, one female) of indeterminate species leaped from Ensign Darwin's moonpool. The two males accosted Lt. JJ Fredericks by leaping into her arms, kissing her emphatically, and crying out "Helloooooo Nurse!" The female grabbed at the behinds of Seaman Anthony Piccolo and Ensign Lucas Wolenczak. She also dropped a large anvil on the head of Captain Oliver Hudson, though it is unclear how she got the rather large anvil onboard. They then ran into the hallway, away from the astonished crewmembers and they have not been seen since. It is believed they are no longer on the submarine. The males are described as having black and white fur with bright red button noses. One was wearing only brown trousers and the other was wearing a blue shirt and a red hat. The female coloring was simaliar and is reported to be wearing a polka dotted dress. And she was really *cute*. Anyone with information as to the whereabouts of these creatures, please contact Inspector Paulson at UEO headquarters in San Diego or the guard for Warner Brothers studios. **** LOOK! IT'S A MOUNTIE! - Sarah E. San Diego Island, United Islands of California- A young man's interest in the Royal Canadian Mounted Police may have saved the UEO from infiltration by the Macronesian military. Yesterday, former seaQuest captain Nathan Bridger attended a reception at UEOHQ accompanied by his grandson, Michael Bridger, 5. Michael quickly tired of watching "a lot of grown-ups talk," and went out to play on the terrace overlooking the ocean. However, he quickly returned and told his grandfather, "Come see the Mounties!" "At first, I thought it was just a game," Bridger said later. "We'd been reading a book about Mounties the night before, and he often likes to act out stories we've read. But he insisted that there were real Mounties on the beach." Bridger and several curious UEO dignitaries followed Michael back outside. They discovered that the "Mounties" were actually Macronesian soldiers, emerging from the ocean and crawling up the beach towards the UEO complex. "Well, the Disney people definitely have a point," Bridger remarked, referring to the copyright infringement suit filed by the Disney corporation against the Macronesian government. Michael Bridger said he should have known that the Macronesians were not actual members of the RCMP. "They didn't have any horses," he explained. The Macronesians were quickly repulsed by UEO forces. **** MORE RIOTS AND PROTESTS - Nibor Planet Earth - There were more riots and protests against the UEO. Blah, blah, blah, blah, UEO sucks, blah, blah, blah, big wieners, blah, blah, stupid McGath, blah, Mentos, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Captain Hudson gives the finger, blah, blah, blah, more Mentos, blah, blah, Bourne cooks a chicken casserole, blah. __________________________________________________________________________ Vol. 1, No. 8 Section B - Lifestyles February 27, 2032 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- PSYCHIC ABILITIES TRACED TO TOXIC WASTE - Sarah E. San Diego Island, United Islands of California- A study released today by the New Ballard Institute linked the so-called "psychic surge" of ten years ago to malfunctioning parts of the oxygen generators built by Noed Corp., a forerunner of the Deon corporation. The malfunction of several key parts caused the creation of Z-12, a heavy gas, which in low doses can cause hyperactivity of the ESP center of the brain. In higher concentrations, it can cause hallucinations, memory loss, and artificial amorousness. Due to the very heavy nature of this gas, it permeates water and settles at the furthest depths. Since Z-12 bonds with oxygen, it could easily enter the atmosphere of submarines through the oxygen separators. This is no longer a threat, since the Noed machines have been phased out over the last ten years. However, scientists estimate that, in the year 2022, Z-12 concentrations were dangerously toxic, particularly in the deep ocean. The result was the so-called "psychic surge," the emergence of thousands of people with psionic abilities. Some also claim that submarine crews suffered Z-12 poisoning. "Late in 2021 it became clear that something was very wrong," said Dr. Kristin Westphalen of the New Ballard Institute, who served on seaQuest 4600 during the joint science-military tour. "None of the people I had served with on the first seaQuest remembered me." Westphalen said that she first noticed the symptoms in her close friend, Captain Nathan Bridger, who absorbed high doses of Z-12 through his work in hydroponics. "It's frightening to realize how seriously I was affected," Bridger said. "I forgot everything about my first tour on the seaQuest. I forgot to shave. I forgot about Kristin [Westphalen]." With some embarrassment, the retired Captain admitted that the effects of the gas caused a brief infatuation with Dr. Wendy Smith, the Chief Medical Officer. "It makes me a little sick to think about it. Fortunately, the feelings faded when I was not in close contact with Z-12. As the tour continued, I had less time to work in the lab, and so the amorous symptoms subsided." Thanks to a series of experimental treatments devised by Dr. Westphalen, former Captain Bridger has recovered almost completely. The crew of the seaQuest seems to be doing well also -- Westphalen points out that Ensign Lucas Wolenczak recently recognized former seaQuest crewman Benjamin Krieg. However, the worldwide effects of Z-12 may be more difficult to straighten out. Gas-induced amnesia led to confusion about the dates of the foundation of the UEO. Nathan Bridger now holds that it was founded no earlier than 2017, while conventional wisdom insists on the beginning of the century. "I was *not* in the UEO before I went to the island," Bridger stated unequivocally, referring to his six-year sojourn on a small Caribbean island following the disappearance of his son. "The UEO did not exist." Secretary General McGrath could not be reached for comment. **** One of Life's Lessons, DON'T EAVESDROP!!! - Sue One day Commander Ford was walking down the hall and slowed as he passed Henderson's doorway which was slightly ajar. He heard voices from inside and here is what it sounded like. Tony: I'm tired of reading lessons. Lets do something more fun! Loni: What do you have in mind big boy? Tony: I wanna play with you. Loni: I love to play. All you have to do is put things in the right place and push the right buttons. Tony: I know how to push the right buttons. Loni: Just as long as you don't mix them up! Tony: I don't have to know how to read to do this! Loni: I'm ready. Let's go! Tony: How about here? Loni: OOOhh! Close, very close. My turn. Tony: Ouch! Don't do that again! Loni: Got you, didn't I? Give me your best move. Tony: You don't have to ask me twice! How good is this? Loni: You missed by a mile. You will have to do better if you want the big boom. Tony: Dagwood! Move, you can't get between us there is no room. Dagwood: But Dagwood wants to watch. Tony: But you will have to move back a little. Dagwood: Dagwood wants a turn next. Tony: OK! Loni: How's this? Tony: OOhhh man oh man! Oh you did it! I'm sunk! Commander Ford could take no more. He pushed open the door and rushed inside to see Loni and Tony sitting at the table with a game of electric Battleship. Dagwood sitting on the bed said, " Commander Ford, if you want to play you have to wait. Dagwood is next." **** WORLD WIDE UEO POLL A recent poll of the entire world by Nibor & Associates regarding the UEO discovered the following startling results: 1) Does the UEO suck? Yes 65.4% Lake Titicaca 9.7% The First Continental Congress 8.6% Yes, but not on the first date 5.1% The Age of Aquarius 3.9% What's the UEO? 3.7% only on Wednesdays 2.1% No 1.3% 2) Who's the biggest "wiener?" Secretary McGath 29.3% UEO 27.5% Captain Oliver Hudson 24.0% Dr. Frank N. Futer 10,1% My history teacher 4.7% That one guy from "America's Funniest Home Videos" 3.9% Cousin Bill 2.0% 3) How often do you protest and/or riot against the UEQ every week? Everyday 63.7% Only on Wednesdays, usually at 8:00 PM 20.5% When I feel like it 7.6% occasionally 4.4% I hire an illegal alien to do it for me 2.0% only in a loving, monogamous marriage 1.5% Never 0.3% (Margin of Error +/-100%) **** LETTERS TO THE EDITOR - selected this week by Nibor Dear UEO Gazette, Frankly, we're sick and tired of the utter stupidity of some people in the UEO. They frequently refer to us in a derogatory manner as "fish," "porpoise," or "animal!" we are not fishes! We are not porpoises! And we prefer not to be spoken down to like mere of animals!" We are the second most intelligent species on this planet! We are sentient lifeforms with our own thoughts and feelings. And we are MAMMALS! How would you like it if we refer to you as "hairy apes," "bipeds," "those stupid animals who pollute they're own homes and expect to be,greeted with open arms when they move under water," or maybe we should start calling-you "stupid baldy?" We urge all the "intelligent" members of your species to support and vote for the Equal Rights Amendments for Dolphins, GELFS, Fish-People, Psychics, Greek/Roman gods, Freaks of Nature and those people who actually like Wendy! Sincerely, Darwin President & Founder of The Dolphin Alliance Editor's Note- Ditto *** Dear UEO Gazette, UEO bad! Dagwood Editor's Note- No, duh! *** Dear UEO Gazette, Why must people continually laugh at my uniform? Just because I like to dress up like a Canadian Mountie doesn't give people the right to make jokes. You know they say "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me," but they're wrong! Every time someone makes fun of my uniform, it hurts! Sometime's I don't even want to wear my Mountie Hat in public! So people stop making fun of my uniform! Sincerely, Macronesian General Editor's Note- But you just look so dorky *** Dear UEO Gazette, I am writing to you in response to the UEO's new "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. I find this policy totally unfair and utterly Medieval. Why should I have to hide my activities in secret? We're not "weird" and we're not "evil" and we're sure as not "confused!" We're human beings just like everyone else and we deserve to be treated as such! I really have to wonder how far our society has advance when people like me are being persecuted for something so incredibly silly! Why should I be embarrassed of who I am? If you can't handle it, tough luck. What I do in the privacy of my own room is my business and I don't see what the UEO can do about it. I just want to tell everyone in the whole world that I'm a grown man and I happen to LOVE SLINKEYS! Yes, Slinkeys are fun! I always get a kick out of watching my Slinkey "walk" down stairs. Everyone loves a Slinkey! And you know what, I also love Frosted Flakes and I don't care if it's a "kid's cereal." Sincerely, Lt. Tim O'Neill President & founder of the SLINKEYS AREN'T JUST FOR LITTLE KIDS FOUNDATION Editor l's Note- But Trix is for kids! Editor 3's Note- I happen to like Trix and I'm not a kid! Editor l's Note- I SAID TRIX IS FOR KIDS! Editor 2's Note- Now kids, calm down, I'm cuckoo for Coco Puffs! Editor 4's Note- I like Mentos! Editor 1, 2, 3's Note- Nibor, will you stop it with those stupid Mentos! **** MUST SEE VR-TV! - Nibor NIBOR LAKE-RIVER-BAY 1492! 2:00 PM, NIBS Daytime talk show. Today's topic: "She's Not My Grandma, She's My Girlfriend!" Guests include Ensign Lucas Walenczak who's dating Christina, a 90 year old woman, and a 14 year-old boy dating a 114 year old woman! Tomorrow's Topic: "Elvis Comes Back From The Dead!" Guests include a man claiming to be Elvis (the fat Elvis, not the skinny one) who says he wants to make a comeback. Also coming back from the dead: Abraham Lincoln, the lady who said "I've fallen and I can't get up," Einstein, Houdini, and Miguel Ortiz. *** TIME TUNNEL 2045 8:00 PM, FOX GLOBAL Debuting tonight. Once again, another remake of an old show. This current Time Tunnel features a multi-ethnic cast and even a young girl in wheel chair that transforms into a battle mech. Watch each week as these time traveling rejects contaminate and screw up the space-time continuum. Perhaps the strongest advice we can give to these time travelers is what the old scientist in the first episode says, "Don't squash that butterfly! You know what happened to Ray Bradbury!" *** MY MOTHER THE CAR 2065 8:30 PM, NBCEE Once again, NBCEE will preempt My Mother The Car 2065 in order to air a documentary on toilet paper. Included is an explanation on why toilet paper comes in those tiny perforated squares when in reality most people just use a clump of toilet paper all at once. __________________________________________________________________________ Vol. 1, No. 8 Section C - Classifieds February 27, 2032 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- WANTED Information on large-scale repressed memory retrieval. Call 555-SFSV. Katie or Kristin *** WANTED A brain. Stupid captain keeps calling me "fish," "porpoise," and "animal." Darwin the Dolphin is MAMMAL! Please, no Brody brain, he's a moron. 555-DSV1. Darwin the Dolphin. *** FOR SALE Data crystal regarding UEO atrocities against GELFS. Great for blackmail! 555-WOLF. Wolfe Molder. *** WANTED Royal Canadian Mountie Hat. Still looking for a hat to go with my outfit. 555-KIWI. Macronesian General. *** DYING A VIRGIN??? Are you going to die a virgin? Then call 555-LONI. *** FOR SALE Hippie clothes. For some reason, people kept giving me hippie clothes for Christmas. Go figure. 555-DSV1. Ynot. *** WANTED Cool "Voltron" submarine. Not those lions that turn into one big robot or those ultra cool cars and planes that turn into a robot. No, not the Transformers! Want the one where all these submarines turn into one big submarine. Voltron Rules! Also looking for the big space ship that turns into a giant robot from Robotech (Macross)! Oh, I almost forgot I wanted one of those Battle Mechs from the Playtime episode! 555-ROBO. Nibor. *** WANTED Color. Would like color for my flashbacks! Sick of black & white flashbacks. You'd think by 2032 we'd get color flashbacks. Also looking for color for 1962, it seems to have this brownish haze to it. 555-DSV1. Ford. *** FOR SALE Voice. Nice, not annoying. Don't have much use for one. No one ever let's me talk a lot. 8-( 555-DSV1. Freddie. *** WANTED Protractor. Need it to measure my "angles" during "geometry." 555-DSV1. Ollie. *** FOR SALE Whale bones. Absolutely free. Just take it off my beach!!! Little kids think it's a jungle gym or something. 555-BONE. Dr. Bones. *** WANTED Sun tan lotion for legs. It's not for me, honestly, it's for a friend of mines. He really needs it... Hey, I said it's not for me, stop giving me those weird looks! Really, it's not for me! I don't need sun tan lotion! Really! 555-DSV1. Tim. *** DESPERATELY SEEKING... Desperately seeking a man who know's how to keep his "angle" and let's me in the shower first. No weirdos who want to destroy the world and start a new civilization, please! 555-DATE. Elaine. *** WANTED Flowbee. Friend desperately needs haircut. Maybe only need bowl. 8-) 555-HAIR. Darwin. *** FOR SALE Spot remover. Santa gave me spot remover for Christmas. I don't need spot remover. Why he give me spot remover? 555-DSV1. Dagwood. *** WANTED Plane tickets to the British Virgin Islands. 555-DSV1. Loni. *** SLINKEY CLUB If you want to see my new Slinkey, stop by my cabin, 45C. I'm starting a new club for Slinkey lovers. Feel free to bring your own Slinkey. And Piccolo, don't bother coming, we've all seen your "Slinkey" joke a million times all ready. *** I'LL HELP YOU READ! If you can read this, then you can read! If you can't read this, then you need my help! I'll help you learn to read! 555-DSV1. Loni. *** WANTED "Virgin" sidekick. Last one had to retire. Please, have documents of proof ready. 555-XENA. Xena, Warrior Princess. *** WANTED "Virgin" sidekick. 555-DSV1. Loni. *** WANTED Smart Pills. Apparently I've been acting quite stupid and not myself lately. 555-DSV1. Ford. *** WANTED American History books. Apparently no one here knows anything about American history. Sheesh, I really don't know what they're teaching in the UEO Academy these days. Even O'Neill who reads 10 books of week doesn't even know about the Cuban Missile Crisis! Even boy-genius Lucas is so clueless! If you don't know American History how can I take you seriously? 555-DSV1. Ollie. *** *STILL* LOST Son, approximately 2 or 3 decades ago. Answers to "Robert". Reward. 555-ISLE. N. Bridger. *** LOST Son, approximately 5 years ago. Answers to "Michael." contact R.B., 555-LOST *** WANTED Information on my status. Am I alive or dead? Scott Keller, 555-WHAT. *** WANTED More male crew! Things have gotten stale! Call 555-DSV1, ask for Loni. *** WANTED A *real* chief engineer. One with clothes. seaQuest DSV 4600 II. 555-DSV1. Ask for the engine. *** ATTITUDE CLASSES Are you too much of a nice guy? Too many friends? Take my class and soon that will change! I'll show you how to be arrogant and supercilious. Soon even your best friends will become enemies! Call The Wolenczak School of Attitude Training today! 555-TUDE. *** MANILOW SINGS! Yes that's right available for the first time, an album of sea shanties sung by that vetran crooner, Manilow Crocker. They are all here -" Cape St. Mary's," "I's the By," "Northwest Passage," "Louie, Louie," and his all time number one hit - "What Shall We Do With A Druken Sailor." Yes, for only $29.95 you to can own this lovely 2 CD set. Call 555-SING. (8 track tape also available.) *** EXERCISE VIDEO Are you a wimp? Are you soft? Do you need to get in shape? Then Work Out With Ollie! That's right, you to can jazzercise with the legendary tough guy, Captain Oliver Hudson. When our motivation is low, and you can't continue, Ollie will yell so loud you will have to go on. Here are a few testimonials from our satisfied customers: "I used to be a sensitive, intelligent computer genius. Now I am an *ENSIGN* with an attitude." "I used to just play with my stuffed dog. After one week of Work Out With Ollie, I could yell and scream with the best engineers." Let Ollie help you get into shape. Call 555-WOWO. ****************************************************************************** Deanna Toxopeus * A proud member of * Syndicate seaQuest!!! Carleton University * Bridger's Fleet * email: DSV4600@gate.net dtoxopeu@ccs.carleton.ca * (Paramedic) * For details ****************************************************************************** Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. William Butler Yeats ****************************************************************************** ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com